Heather

Teddy's name: Heather

Age when sexually assaulted: approx 4 - 10 years old

Who assaulted Teddy: Grandpa

Town or State where the assault happened: Victoria

Teddy's message to the world:

I remembered what you did to me when I was 25 years old, I told my mum, I even forgave you 7 years ago and an enormous weight lifted from my shoulders, but I forgive you no more, I am now again going through this painful experience this time with all my memories and more, I have disclosed what you did to me to the whole family now, I have knocked you off your high and mighty pedastool, I have taken away all respect that people had for you. This is your punishment as unfortunely you were lucky that you were dead when my memories started to come. I always thought it was my childhood you just affected, but I now know it has affected so much of my adult life to, I am strong and I will become a better person because of this pain I have lived through.

Bea

Teddy's name: Bea

Age when sexually assaulted: 15-18

Who assaulted Teddy: Bec (an adult who attended my high school)

Town or State where the assault happened: Melbourne

Teddy's message to the world:

I trusted you, Bec, and through your actions you taught me not to trust. You taught me shame and anger, just as I should have begun to learn how to be a strong, joyful woman. My molestation has profoundly hurt me, my parents, my sister, my friends, and my partner. Society facilitated your crime – as a young woman you did not fit the publicised stereotype of a child abuser. You have gotten away with it thus far, but I am building my strength, and one day I will be ready to denounce you to your face.

Phoenix

Teddy's name: Phoenix

Age when sexually assaulted: toddler,13,15,16

Who assaulted Teddy: father,uncle,friend

Town or State where the assault happened: tasmania, melbourne

Teddy's message to the world:

Teddy felt guilty for many years and felt worthless,because of a low self esteem Teddy fell into a very deep hole. Was not till Teddy married ,Teddy started to realy know what love meant. Love does not hurt or betray a trust. Teddy soon had children became over protective because of what had happened in past. Teddy had never let go of the past. today it still hurts .but that hurt has lead Teddy to now go into child protection. If Teddy can help even one child not suffer what she did then Teddy will be happy. NEVER BE SILENT TELL and keep telling only stop telling when the abuse stops. Some one will hear,always remember you are not at fault you did nothing wrong nothing to feel guilty about. Just tell,shout louder till you are heard and never be frighten. We survivers are special very special we can help others

Lil Cindy

Teddy's name: Lil Cindy

Age when sexually assaulted: somewhere between 6 to 9

Who assaulted Teddy: a male boarder

Town or State where the assault happened: Melbourne, Victoria

Teddy's message to the world: It hurts. It stinks.Its secrecy whispers down the decades, stories about self that I have believed to be true: it's my fault, I enjoyed it, I'm a wicked, wicked little girl.I will burn in the fires of hell. I'm dirty, shameful...who would want to love a rag doll? Not me-except that Lil Cindy loves me...very, very much. So maybe those secret whispers are what: voices embedded into my psyche- not from me , or Lil Cindy, but from him,,, a sick, sick man whose balls I'd love to feed to the dogs, but that's not socially acceptable, nor could I live with that brutality in my heart or mind. I don't want to perpertrate that abuse be it in any form as an expression. Even entertaining the anger, fury sickens me to the core and yet that weeping,ulcerous sore needs to be excised and healed. So what does Lil Cindy want to tell me. Don't give up on love. Lil Cindy is such a beautiful, shaggy teddy bear who smiles and smiles even when her heart is bursting with pain. Love is all and Lil Cindy has never given up on love...loving her beautiful shaggy fur, her tattered clothes- the marks of a life well lived. Her magic wand glistens, sparkles and shines-so no matter what or who has tattered her wings she sings her song of magic, waves her wand and viola- the magic whispers: Lil Cindy loves you so much , my precious , precious child,,,no matter what - Lil Cindy is always there for you. And sometimes to make me laugh she wears her funny sunflower hat, pulls out her sunflower cape, flaps her wings and off we fly above the clouds, the rains, the tornados that rock the self and we rest upon a fluffy pink cloud with Lil Cindy's friends and breathe the fun, the laughter, the joy and love that our imagination can create and paint and draw and sing. And when we're ready - we fly back down through the tornadoes, hurricanes and storms of life- refreshed renewed and filled with love. One day I may be able to don the cloak of sunflower happ iness and fly to Lil Cindy and my fluffy pink cloud of teddy bear love. Maybe with all my magic friends I'll be able to tell "him "how much he has hurt me. Maybe I'll be able to tell him how angry and full of rage that I have for him. Maybe on that day I will be able to look him in the eyes and say I no longer hate and despise you. No means No. Maybe I can say to him If eel very sad , very sad that the only joy you had in life was to sexualy abuse a very little, vulnerable girl- an innocent... a girl full of magic and wonder who loved life and who missed her nonna so much. She felt so alone in this new land without her nonna. You had no right to abuse her trust in you as an adult member of the household. Nor did you have the right to feed lies and sleeze into this innocent angel's little heart- so she just spent the rest of her life replicating this abuse in one form or another includinging abusing herself over and over agian to prove or even disprove that she was or wasn't that naughty, wicked little girl who the devil would burn in hell. No you were wrong, I am none of these and have never been any of these.My heart feels like it's breaking into a million shattered shards...the wasted pain of this my life, but with my special friends along life's journey and Lil Cindy...I forgive myself for believing your dirty, stinking lies. And I forgive you ... I cannot imagine how much you have suffered to behave in such a way...were you abused?? or were you born that way?? I don't know and I'll never know, but I hope that along your life's journey and if you are still alive I hope that you find your peace and the magic of Lil Cindy and all her friends. I wish you well on this life's journey. I forgive you and I forgive myself and my parents who refused to see and now can only be spoken to in spirit. But Lil Cindy will take my wishes to you all. And I know that Lil Cindy will always wrap me in her love, her magic sunflower cape and wings and whenever I feel too sad and despairing. I'm not alone and will never be alone while my Lil Cindy lives in my heart, mind and spirit. Her love can never be destroyed and will never be destroyed and with her laughter, fun and joy she inspires me to love myself and others no matter what... even when I feel I can't. She can and I'll let her. A beautiful sunflower to you all.

Bug

Teddy's name: Bug

Age when sexually assaulted: 5 to 12

Who assaulted Teddy: By 2 of dad's friends

Town or State where the assault happened: Melbourne, Australia

Teddy's message to the world:

Please watch out for you children and never assume that just because you like someone that they are incapable of hurting your children. Trust without caution is the number one thing that allows abusers access to your children. I know the heartbreaking affect child sexual abuse has on every aspect of a person's life and how even long after the abuse is over you are still trying to piece together the remnants of a life you never thought you'd have to live. Please educate yourself on what warning signs to look out for in your children's behaviour because often they are too scared and confused to ask for help or tell someone. Make sure they understand that bad things can happen even by people they love and that they should always tell you no matter what someone may say to them. Always listen if a child tells you they've been hurt because they don't know how to lie about such abuse at that age and nothing can affect a child more than knowing that t he people closest to them don't even believe them.

Bruff

Teddy's name: Bruff

Age when sexually assaulted: about 9

Who assaulted Teddy: Neighbour (male)

Town or State where the assault happened: Victoria

Teddy's message to the world:

Although I've faced difficulties with trust, I ended up having a great daughter and have enjoyed my life in spite of your actions.

Sophie

Teddy's name: Sophie

Age when sexually assaulted: 10 to 15

Who assaulted Teddy: father

Town or State where the assault happened: Melbourne

Teddy's message to the world:

Be strong, go forward never look back, and never repeat.

Lonesome Bear

Teddy's name: Lonesome Bear

Age when sexually assaulted: 10

Who assaulted Teddy: Mother's cousin

Town or State where the assault happened: Victoria

Teddy's message to the world:

You did not win. I am living my life and loving my children. Everyday I wake up and get out of bed proves that I am so much more than what happened to me.

Flower

Teddy's name: Flower

Age when sexually assaulted: 3-13

Who assaulted Teddy: Brother

Town or State where the assault happened: Victoria

Teddy's message to the world:

You don't get a do-over, the past can't be erased or forgotten, history can never be rewritten. But my future can be written by my hand, and I am ready to write a positive future. One where I can be happy, at peace with me and break out of the shackles of being a victim, if society will let me, 'Considering your childhood,' is still something others use to measure my achievements. My future is looking bright... no, my future IS bright..er anyway.

Tiny Tott

Teddy's name: Tiny Tott

Age when sexually assaulted: 7

Who assaulted Teddy: Primary School Teacher

Town or State where the assault happened: Victoria

Teddy's message to the world:

I may have been little but now I have a big voice. Child abuse needs to stop! Kids deserve to be kids! They deserve to be safe!!!!!!!

Charlie

Teddy's name: Charlie

Age when sexually assaulted: 8-13

Who assaulted Teddy: Dad

Town or State where the assault happened: Victoria

Teddy's message to the world:

Sexual assault is never ok ! Under no circumstances should it be seen as acceptable. It is an abuse of power, whereby someone has no choice but to conform to the abusers demands in order to come out the other side. Never let an abuser tell you that it is your fault, because this is impossible. These people who i call "monsters" make conscious decisions to inflict pain. They pre-plan when and where to assault the victim. They are smarter than we think.... because they have everyone else fooled. No matter how guilty you feel inside, know inside of your heart that you were the least to blame... because i can assure you this is something that i battle with on a daily basis. I try and tell myself this as often as I can. And in writing this, I can see that in reality i know i couldn't have done anything to prevent it, so I am content with this for the time being. Stay strong. No matter how hard it gets.... trust me 'you are a worthy person who should never have been taken advantage of'. You have so much to offer in this world.... and one day you will smile again!

Rani

Teddy's name: Rani

Age when sexually assaulted: 7-13

Who assaulted Teddy: Father Uncle Grandfather

Town or State where the assault happened: Melbourne

Teddy's message to the world:

One day you realise it was a long time ago.... One day you can see through some fog and get to know you.... One day I called CASA ... One day I found my counsellor there ..... Today I feel whole .... Don't give up ... please just don't give up.

Casper

Teddy's name: Casper

Age when sexually assaulted: 4-9

Who assaulted Teddy: uncle

Town or State where the assault happened: victoria

Teddy's message to the world:

Childhood sexual abuse is not ok. It damages the child for their entire lives.

Toby Ted

Teddy's name: Toby Ted

Age when sexually assaulted: 10 to 14

Who assaulted Teddy: After school care teacher

Town or State where the assault happened: Geelong, Victoria

Teddy's message to the world:

Boys get abused, too. It is so hard to tell, but if you don't you let the perpetrators keep on abusing.
Parents, talk to your kids about sexual assault. Adults, talk to each other.

Bobby

Teddy's name: Bobby

Age when sexually assaulted: 16

Who assaulted Teddy: Family Friend

Town or State where the assault happened: Victoria

Teddy's message to the world:

I can’t believe it’s been two years since I was abused, it seems like it just happened two weeks ago. Everything still doesn’t seem right, things will never be the same.

Thank you Bobby, for helping me Break My Silence.

Nicholas

Teddy's name: Nicholas

Age when sexually assaulted: ? till 13

Who assaulted Teddy: Brother

Town or State where the assault happened: Country Victoria

Teddy's message to the world:

Even though it happened over 37 years ago it is sometimes so raw. It does go on to effect other relationships in life. My Marriage relationship. The way you raise your kids, act towards others. How watching my kids grow makes me ache and grieve for what life could have been for ME. If only the Childhood Sexual Abuse had not happened to me.

Tiamo

Teddy's name: Tiamo

Age when sexually assaulted: 11 to 18

Who assaulted Teddy: family friend

Town or State where the assault happened: Melbourne Victoria

Teddy's message to the world:

My abuser killed the person I could have been. I have spent most of my life hating the person I am.
He took my soul and broke my spirit most days I feel like a dead person among the living. I have everything in life I need or could have ever wished for but I do not have life itself. I will not surrender to the darkness I will walk until I find the light.

Kuma

Teddy's name: Kuma

Age when sexually assaulted: 10-11

Who assaulted Teddy: Mothers boyfriend

Town or State where the assault happened: Victoria, Aust

Teddy's message to the world:

No matter what you are told, you are stronger than you think!

Little One

Teddy's name: Little One

Age when sexually assaulted: 6-8 years of age

Who assaulted Teddy: Primary school teacher and best friends father

Town or State where the assault happened: Williamstown, Victoria

Teddy's message to the world:

The worst thing is when the flashbacks and the night terrors start. The sweats and the shaking, the wanting to claw your way out of your own skin, The wanting to escape your brain, and the voices you hear in your head, those whispering voices that tell you "they won't believe you", that your worth nothing, worth less than the other people they could be abusing instead of you. The voices that tell you your a whore, that whisper the numbers, the times tables in your ear as they hold you down and abuse you. The way they tell your family your no good at your maths and that they need to force you to repeat your times tables over and over again. the betrayal and the pain. The Pain and the fear of everyone around you, but your not sure why, the fear that your going insane, the insomnia and the anger and the hatred. Hatred for yourself, hatred for them and the guilt. The guilt because you can't stand to be touched, but want to be near people, but being afraid, afraid of everyone. The turning to drugs and the fury when they stop working and you realise they in themselves have become a form of self punishment. And while this is not a light a fluffy story from teddy a little ray of hope, a counsellor that listens, a friend that talks to you in the middle of the night , the day when you walk out into the morning dawn and watch the sun rise and smile and feel happy, for no other reason than because. It gets better, but its hard, and it's shit that it's even necessary that life should be so difficult for you because that sucks. But mid 30's and i have friends i feel safe around, and a job i love, and every day is little bit better.

Malibu

Teddy's name: Malibu

Age when sexually assaulted: 16

Who assaulted Teddy: member of the public

Town or State where the assault happened: melbourne

Teddy's message to the world:

“You Can Shut Me Out...But You Can Not Shut Me Up! I Broke My Silence!”