Heather

Teddy's name: Heather

Age when sexually assaulted: approx 4 - 10 years old

Who assaulted Teddy: Grandpa

Town or State where the assault happened: Victoria

Teddy's message to the world:

I remembered what you did to me when I was 25 years old, I told my mum, I even forgave you 7 years ago and an enormous weight lifted from my shoulders, but I forgive you no more, I am now again going through this painful experience this time with all my memories and more, I have disclosed what you did to me to the whole family now, I have knocked you off your high and mighty pedastool, I have taken away all respect that people had for you. This is your punishment as unfortunely you were lucky that you were dead when my memories started to come. I always thought it was my childhood you just affected, but I now know it has affected so much of my adult life to, I am strong and I will become a better person because of this pain I have lived through.

Grace

Teddy's name: Grace

Age when sexually assaulted: 5-20

Who assaulted Teddy: Friend, Uncle, Brother's Friend

Town or State where the assault happened: NSW

Teddy's message to the world:

I've spent a lot of time in silence but now I'm starting to find my voice. Please join me, even whispers count!

Bea

Teddy's name: Bea

Age when sexually assaulted: 15-18

Who assaulted Teddy: Bec (an adult who attended my high school)

Town or State where the assault happened: Melbourne

Teddy's message to the world:

I trusted you, Bec, and through your actions you taught me not to trust. You taught me shame and anger, just as I should have begun to learn how to be a strong, joyful woman. My molestation has profoundly hurt me, my parents, my sister, my friends, and my partner. Society facilitated your crime – as a young woman you did not fit the publicised stereotype of a child abuser. You have gotten away with it thus far, but I am building my strength, and one day I will be ready to denounce you to your face.

Phoenix

Teddy's name: Phoenix

Age when sexually assaulted: toddler,13,15,16

Who assaulted Teddy: father,uncle,friend

Town or State where the assault happened: tasmania, melbourne

Teddy's message to the world:

Teddy felt guilty for many years and felt worthless,because of a low self esteem Teddy fell into a very deep hole. Was not till Teddy married ,Teddy started to realy know what love meant. Love does not hurt or betray a trust. Teddy soon had children became over protective because of what had happened in past. Teddy had never let go of the past. today it still hurts .but that hurt has lead Teddy to now go into child protection. If Teddy can help even one child not suffer what she did then Teddy will be happy. NEVER BE SILENT TELL and keep telling only stop telling when the abuse stops. Some one will hear,always remember you are not at fault you did nothing wrong nothing to feel guilty about. Just tell,shout louder till you are heard and never be frighten. We survivers are special very special we can help others

Big Ears

Teddy's name: Big Ears

Age when sexually assaulted: Started at 5

Who assaulted Teddy: Dad and brother

Town or State where the assault happened: Australia

Teddy's message to the world:

You had no right to do the things you did to me. From the age of 5 I lost my confidence and all sense of self. Why did you have to be so mean, so cruel? I became someone else. Some of the abuse I could remember, some I could not. But I know the person I am now. Somewhat broken; trying to make sense of it all. Did you feel a sense of power? How pitiful you are. You took away my innocence and turned my world into a living nightmare. You took away the essence of me!!!!! I've been stumbling through life wondering about this and that, blaming myself; feeling shame for things I wasn't sure of; hating myself; hurting myself; wanting to kill myself so many times; I want to hate you with everything I am, but I can't afford to give any more of myself away now. I have sacrificed so much. I will conquer and heal. I know I will. And from this day forward, I break the chains that bind me to you - even on an invisible level. From now on, the y're gone and I will re-discover who I am. Because I damn well deserve it!

Justice Served

Teddy's name: Justice Served

Age when sexually assaulted: 9-15 years

Who assaulted Teddy: Father

Town or State where the assault happened: Bega, NSW, Australia

Teddy's message to the world:

For 10 years I told no one. It ate me up. I was ashamed, anxious, resentful and angry. At 19 I knew it was time to tell my friends and family that the man who was supposed to have protected me, hadn’t. He’d betrayed me, my friends and family in the worst possible way. He’d stolen my childhood and my trust. Talking about being molested was the hardest thing I ever did. People don’t like to think about it because it makes them feel uncomfortable. By keeping it taboo, society makes it difficult for survivors to speak up and easier for perpetrators to ‘get away with it.’ When I told my mum she didn’t want anyone to know but I told her that we needed to tell EVERYONE- it wasn’t her fault or mine. And we weren’t responsible for how it would make people feel. It was then that I also decided telling people wasn’t enough. My dad needed to know how much I had suffered and that I was suffering. He needed to know that what he’d done was not right. My dad was a criminal. It took 17 hours to complete a police statement. It was really hard. At times I just couldn’t talk. How do you put those memories into words when you’ve kept them silent for so long? I was brave enough to have a conversation with my dad that was recorded by the police. Over the phone he just repeated what he always had -that it was “my fault.” I was nine years old. He was a grown man. I didn’t even know what sex was. My dad was arrested and charged and I faced him in court. At one point, during a break in proceedings, the Department of Public Prosecutions worker heading my case came to me to say, “He’ll plead guilty if you remove the part of your statement that includes ‘penetration.’” (In NSW, Australia, penetration leads to an automatic jail sentence). I was flawed. I looked at the DPP man, “No way. It happened and I’m not going to pretend it didn’t. Tell them no!” I didn’t change my statement. My dad had the right to remain silent but expected ME to silence part of what had happened. Now that I had broken my silence there was no chance I’d be in that situation again. My father pleaded guilty and spent 3 years of a 5-year sentence in jail. I am 28 now. I have a beautiful son of my own. I have the most loving husband I could imagine. I am pregnant with our second child and I feel like the luckiest woman in the world. But do you know what? I deserve it. Am I ever sad that I don’t see my father? Yes. But I have a choice now, which I didn’t always. I am sad because I’ve missed out on having a dad because he made a choice once too. He made a decision 19 years ago that meant today I don’t have a dad I can trust or want in my life or my children’s lives. At 19 I was brave. I know I was. Talking might be the hardest thing you ever do but however long it takes breaking the silence will tip the balance of power. The perpetrator will no longer hold the power. The perpetrator will no longer in control. YOU have the power. You have the right to be in control of your life. And you deserve it.

Lil Cindy

Teddy's name: Lil Cindy

Age when sexually assaulted: somewhere between 6 to 9

Who assaulted Teddy: a male boarder

Town or State where the assault happened: Melbourne, Victoria

Teddy's message to the world: It hurts. It stinks.Its secrecy whispers down the decades, stories about self that I have believed to be true: it's my fault, I enjoyed it, I'm a wicked, wicked little girl.I will burn in the fires of hell. I'm dirty, shameful...who would want to love a rag doll? Not me-except that Lil Cindy loves me...very, very much. So maybe those secret whispers are what: voices embedded into my psyche- not from me , or Lil Cindy, but from him,,, a sick, sick man whose balls I'd love to feed to the dogs, but that's not socially acceptable, nor could I live with that brutality in my heart or mind. I don't want to perpertrate that abuse be it in any form as an expression. Even entertaining the anger, fury sickens me to the core and yet that weeping,ulcerous sore needs to be excised and healed. So what does Lil Cindy want to tell me. Don't give up on love. Lil Cindy is such a beautiful, shaggy teddy bear who smiles and smiles even when her heart is bursting with pain. Love is all and Lil Cindy has never given up on love...loving her beautiful shaggy fur, her tattered clothes- the marks of a life well lived. Her magic wand glistens, sparkles and shines-so no matter what or who has tattered her wings she sings her song of magic, waves her wand and viola- the magic whispers: Lil Cindy loves you so much , my precious , precious child,,,no matter what - Lil Cindy is always there for you. And sometimes to make me laugh she wears her funny sunflower hat, pulls out her sunflower cape, flaps her wings and off we fly above the clouds, the rains, the tornados that rock the self and we rest upon a fluffy pink cloud with Lil Cindy's friends and breathe the fun, the laughter, the joy and love that our imagination can create and paint and draw and sing. And when we're ready - we fly back down through the tornadoes, hurricanes and storms of life- refreshed renewed and filled with love. One day I may be able to don the cloak of sunflower happ iness and fly to Lil Cindy and my fluffy pink cloud of teddy bear love. Maybe with all my magic friends I'll be able to tell "him "how much he has hurt me. Maybe I'll be able to tell him how angry and full of rage that I have for him. Maybe on that day I will be able to look him in the eyes and say I no longer hate and despise you. No means No. Maybe I can say to him If eel very sad , very sad that the only joy you had in life was to sexualy abuse a very little, vulnerable girl- an innocent... a girl full of magic and wonder who loved life and who missed her nonna so much. She felt so alone in this new land without her nonna. You had no right to abuse her trust in you as an adult member of the household. Nor did you have the right to feed lies and sleeze into this innocent angel's little heart- so she just spent the rest of her life replicating this abuse in one form or another includinging abusing herself over and over agian to prove or even disprove that she was or wasn't that naughty, wicked little girl who the devil would burn in hell. No you were wrong, I am none of these and have never been any of these.My heart feels like it's breaking into a million shattered shards...the wasted pain of this my life, but with my special friends along life's journey and Lil Cindy...I forgive myself for believing your dirty, stinking lies. And I forgive you ... I cannot imagine how much you have suffered to behave in such a way...were you abused?? or were you born that way?? I don't know and I'll never know, but I hope that along your life's journey and if you are still alive I hope that you find your peace and the magic of Lil Cindy and all her friends. I wish you well on this life's journey. I forgive you and I forgive myself and my parents who refused to see and now can only be spoken to in spirit. But Lil Cindy will take my wishes to you all. And I know that Lil Cindy will always wrap me in her love, her magic sunflower cape and wings and whenever I feel too sad and despairing. I'm not alone and will never be alone while my Lil Cindy lives in my heart, mind and spirit. Her love can never be destroyed and will never be destroyed and with her laughter, fun and joy she inspires me to love myself and others no matter what... even when I feel I can't. She can and I'll let her. A beautiful sunflower to you all.

Bug

Teddy's name: Bug

Age when sexually assaulted: 5 to 12

Who assaulted Teddy: By 2 of dad's friends

Town or State where the assault happened: Melbourne, Australia

Teddy's message to the world:

Please watch out for you children and never assume that just because you like someone that they are incapable of hurting your children. Trust without caution is the number one thing that allows abusers access to your children. I know the heartbreaking affect child sexual abuse has on every aspect of a person's life and how even long after the abuse is over you are still trying to piece together the remnants of a life you never thought you'd have to live. Please educate yourself on what warning signs to look out for in your children's behaviour because often they are too scared and confused to ask for help or tell someone. Make sure they understand that bad things can happen even by people they love and that they should always tell you no matter what someone may say to them. Always listen if a child tells you they've been hurt because they don't know how to lie about such abuse at that age and nothing can affect a child more than knowing that t he people closest to them don't even believe them.

BooBoo

Teddy's name: BooBoo

Age when sexually assaulted: 7 - 15

Who assaulted Teddy: Father

Town or State where the assault happened: Sydney

Teddy's message to the world:

How come I suffer with this anguish my whole life yet you get too live? I have had failed relationships, no confidence and dont like who I am. Yet you live. Im now 36 and have just told my Mum what you did. I have moved a lot, changed my name, phone numbers so you couldnt find me. Yet you get to live. Im trying to survive. Trying to work out who I am and be me and not be afraid. I want just 1 day where I dont feel scared and dont think about you. That day will come. I know it will.

Teddy Bear

Teddy's name: Teddy Bear

Age when sexually assaulted: baby

Who assaulted Teddy: Daddy

Town or State where the assault happened: South Australia

Teddy's message to the world:

I was assaulted when I was a baby. I don't remember it except I have had puberty start really early and I have had bad sexual experiences from an early age. Parents should be trusted and I should have been protected from my Dad's behaviour by my Mum. I am now an older woman and after a great deal of healing after my Dad died, I can hold my head up as I've come to realise you can overcome the hurt and pain. You can overcome and rise up and be stronger because this evil does not hold chains on you. By faith and belief you can move on.

Bruff

Teddy's name: Bruff

Age when sexually assaulted: about 9

Who assaulted Teddy: Neighbour (male)

Town or State where the assault happened: Victoria

Teddy's message to the world:

Although I've faced difficulties with trust, I ended up having a great daughter and have enjoyed my life in spite of your actions.

Sophie

Teddy's name: Sophie

Age when sexually assaulted: 10 to 15

Who assaulted Teddy: father

Town or State where the assault happened: Melbourne

Teddy's message to the world:

Be strong, go forward never look back, and never repeat.

Nettie

Teddy's name: Nettie

Age when sexually assaulted: 12

Who assaulted Teddy: big brother

Town or State where the assault happened: NSW

Teddy's message to the world:

My abuser's desire for control and power (in all areas of his life) has only brought him unhappiness...and though his abuse has affected me, and in ways I possibly am not even aware of, I have learned that love and care, not power and control, are what is important in life.

Lonesome Bear

Teddy's name: Lonesome Bear

Age when sexually assaulted: 10

Who assaulted Teddy: Mother's cousin

Town or State where the assault happened: Victoria

Teddy's message to the world:

You did not win. I am living my life and loving my children. Everyday I wake up and get out of bed proves that I am so much more than what happened to me.

CFudge

Teddy's name: CFudge

Age when sexually assaulted: 14

Who assaulted Teddy: Stranger

Town or State where the assault happened: NSW

Teddy's message to the world:

You took my control away, you took away my innocence, you took away my friendships, you broke apart my family. But now I am the one in control of my life. I will choose where my future goes. I choose what I do with my body and my mind. You can't take that strength away from me.

Yellow Teddy

Teddy's name: Yellow Teddy

Age when sexually assaulted: 7-8 years

Who assaulted Teddy: Uncle

Town or State where the assault happened: Queensland

Teddy's message to the world:

Note to parents:- If your child throws a tantrum every time you send them away for school holidays, there is probably a very good reason. Keep them close & ask a lot of questions. For the sake of some time out for you, you could be giving them something they will never forget & will haunt them the rest of their lives.

Panda

Teddy's name: Panda

Age when sexually assaulted: 13

Who assaulted Teddy: sister boyfriend, now husband

Town or State where the assault happened: Brisbane

Teddy's message to the world:

I am strong; You will not be a part of my life anymore, or my children's life. My family did not protect me, now I will protect myself and the life of my own family. I have lost a sister but have gained courage.

Linda

Teddy's name: Linda

Age when sexually assaulted: ? - 15

Who assaulted Teddy: Mother

Town or State where the assault happened: South Australia

Teddy's message to the world:

I am a little bit lucky because I can't remember it all. I choose to however accept what has happened and not be afraid anymore. I am who I am because of what happened and for that I am a better person than "mother" and any other abusers will ever be. They say abused children lead to abusing adults. Well I have two beautiful little bears myself and I am breaking one pattern right now!!! Beware abusers, I believe in Karma.

PB Bear

Teddy's name: PB Bear

Age when sexually assaulted: 10 - 16

Who assaulted Teddy: father, uncle, cousin, brother- in-law

Town or State where the assault happened: Qld

Teddy's message to the world:

PB Bear will rise above you and show that you have not beaten her spirit completely. PB Bear will achieve her dreams and goals, will succeed in being happy and finding herself. You tried hard to destroy her spirit, but she will not let you win.

Duckie

Teddy's name: Duckie

Age when sexually assaulted: 3 through to 11, then 12, then 15

Who assaulted Teddy: Brother, Church Elder, Youth Group leader

Town or State where the assault happened: south australia

Teddy's message to the world:

Being taught from a very young age that My body was what men wanted, set me up to be abused as a teenager by 2 different people. It was written in the way I moved, the way I spoke, Unwittingly sending messages I didnt recognise... but they did.

Having who I would have been stolen, left me bereft of a sense of self. An appreciation of the gifts I had to share with the world was lost. I have come out the other side as an Adult most certainly different than the Adult I would have been without this horror in my past..... But none the less an Adult worthy of Love and dignity even though they all taught me I was worthless.

What ever happens in your life shapes you and turns your life into a beautiful patchwork quilt, with shades of darkness and light. You can't see the beautiful pattern until you can stand far enough away, then you realise that within the darkest or the dark... it makes the brightest of the bright stand out clear and YOUR patchwork quilt is the most beautiful of all because you had the bravery to stand again tall and proud and make the scraps which were left behind into something beautiful.