Teddy's name: Little One
Age when sexually assaulted: 6-8 years of age
Who assaulted Teddy: Primary school teacher and best friends father
Town or State where the assault happened: Williamstown, Victoria
Teddy's message to the world:
The worst thing is when the flashbacks and the night terrors start. The sweats and the shaking, the wanting to claw your way out of your own skin, The wanting to escape your brain, and the voices you hear in your head, those whispering voices that tell you "they won't believe you", that your worth nothing, worth less than the other people they could be abusing instead of you. The voices that tell you your a whore, that whisper the numbers, the times tables in your ear as they hold you down and abuse you. The way they tell your family your no good at your maths and that they need to force you to repeat your times tables over and over again. the betrayal and the pain. The Pain and the fear of everyone around you, but your not sure why, the fear that your going insane, the insomnia and the anger and the hatred. Hatred for yourself, hatred for them and the guilt. The guilt because you can't stand to be touched, but want to be near people, but being afraid, afraid of everyone. The turning to drugs and the fury when they stop working and you realise they in themselves have become a form of self punishment. And while this is not a light a fluffy story from teddy a little ray of hope, a counsellor that listens, a friend that talks to you in the middle of the night , the day when you walk out into the morning dawn and watch the sun rise and smile and feel happy, for no other reason than because. It gets better, but its hard, and it's shit that it's even necessary that life should be so difficult for you because that sucks. But mid 30's and i have friends i feel safe around, and a job i love, and every day is little bit better.
3 comments:
Thank you, Little One, for your real and honest story. I would rather hear the truth than a light and fluffy story.
Your bravery and courage is an inspiration, and you may just be a little ray of hope for other survivors.
I so admire you Little One for telling the truth - and for having the guts to get up each day and deal with it.
I hope that for you each day continues to be that little bit better until you pain is gone.
Thank you so much for being honest with the world.
Thank you for sharing.
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