Teddy's name: Justice Served
Age when sexually assaulted: 9-15 years
Who assaulted Teddy: Father
Town or State where the assault happened: Bega, NSW, Australia
Teddy's message to the world:
For 10 years I told no one. It ate me up. I was ashamed, anxious, resentful and angry. At 19 I knew it was time to tell my friends and family that the man who was supposed to have protected me, hadn’t. He’d betrayed me, my friends and family in the worst possible way. He’d stolen my childhood and my trust. Talking about being molested was the hardest thing I ever did. People don’t like to think about it because it makes them feel uncomfortable. By keeping it taboo, society makes it difficult for survivors to speak up and easier for perpetrators to ‘get away with it.’ When I told my mum she didn’t want anyone to know but I told her that we needed to tell EVERYONE- it wasn’t her fault or mine. And we weren’t responsible for how it would make people feel. It was then that I also decided telling people wasn’t enough. My dad needed to know how much I had suffered and that I was suffering. He needed to know that what he’d done was not right. My dad was a criminal. It took 17 hours to complete a police statement. It was really hard. At times I just couldn’t talk. How do you put those memories into words when you’ve kept them silent for so long? I was brave enough to have a conversation with my dad that was recorded by the police. Over the phone he just repeated what he always had -that it was “my fault.” I was nine years old. He was a grown man. I didn’t even know what sex was. My dad was arrested and charged and I faced him in court. At one point, during a break in proceedings, the Department of Public Prosecutions worker heading my case came to me to say, “He’ll plead guilty if you remove the part of your statement that includes ‘penetration.’” (In NSW, Australia, penetration leads to an automatic jail sentence). I was flawed. I looked at the DPP man, “No way. It happened and I’m not going to pretend it didn’t. Tell them no!” I didn’t change my statement. My dad had the right to remain silent but expected ME to silence part of what had happened. Now that I had broken my silence there was no chance I’d be in that situation again. My father pleaded guilty and spent 3 years of a 5-year sentence in jail. I am 28 now. I have a beautiful son of my own. I have the most loving husband I could imagine. I am pregnant with our second child and I feel like the luckiest woman in the world. But do you know what? I deserve it. Am I ever sad that I don’t see my father? Yes. But I have a choice now, which I didn’t always. I am sad because I’ve missed out on having a dad because he made a choice once too. He made a decision 19 years ago that meant today I don’t have a dad I can trust or want in my life or my children’s lives. At 19 I was brave. I know I was. Talking might be the hardest thing you ever do but however long it takes breaking the silence will tip the balance of power. The perpetrator will no longer hold the power. The perpetrator will no longer in control. YOU have the power. You have the right to be in control of your life. And you deserve it.
Age when sexually assaulted: 9-15 years
Who assaulted Teddy: Father
Town or State where the assault happened: Bega, NSW, Australia
Teddy's message to the world:
For 10 years I told no one. It ate me up. I was ashamed, anxious, resentful and angry. At 19 I knew it was time to tell my friends and family that the man who was supposed to have protected me, hadn’t. He’d betrayed me, my friends and family in the worst possible way. He’d stolen my childhood and my trust. Talking about being molested was the hardest thing I ever did. People don’t like to think about it because it makes them feel uncomfortable. By keeping it taboo, society makes it difficult for survivors to speak up and easier for perpetrators to ‘get away with it.’ When I told my mum she didn’t want anyone to know but I told her that we needed to tell EVERYONE- it wasn’t her fault or mine. And we weren’t responsible for how it would make people feel. It was then that I also decided telling people wasn’t enough. My dad needed to know how much I had suffered and that I was suffering. He needed to know that what he’d done was not right. My dad was a criminal. It took 17 hours to complete a police statement. It was really hard. At times I just couldn’t talk. How do you put those memories into words when you’ve kept them silent for so long? I was brave enough to have a conversation with my dad that was recorded by the police. Over the phone he just repeated what he always had -that it was “my fault.” I was nine years old. He was a grown man. I didn’t even know what sex was. My dad was arrested and charged and I faced him in court. At one point, during a break in proceedings, the Department of Public Prosecutions worker heading my case came to me to say, “He’ll plead guilty if you remove the part of your statement that includes ‘penetration.’” (In NSW, Australia, penetration leads to an automatic jail sentence). I was flawed. I looked at the DPP man, “No way. It happened and I’m not going to pretend it didn’t. Tell them no!” I didn’t change my statement. My dad had the right to remain silent but expected ME to silence part of what had happened. Now that I had broken my silence there was no chance I’d be in that situation again. My father pleaded guilty and spent 3 years of a 5-year sentence in jail. I am 28 now. I have a beautiful son of my own. I have the most loving husband I could imagine. I am pregnant with our second child and I feel like the luckiest woman in the world. But do you know what? I deserve it. Am I ever sad that I don’t see my father? Yes. But I have a choice now, which I didn’t always. I am sad because I’ve missed out on having a dad because he made a choice once too. He made a decision 19 years ago that meant today I don’t have a dad I can trust or want in my life or my children’s lives. At 19 I was brave. I know I was. Talking might be the hardest thing you ever do but however long it takes breaking the silence will tip the balance of power. The perpetrator will no longer hold the power. The perpetrator will no longer in control. YOU have the power. You have the right to be in control of your life. And you deserve it.
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